She's Gonna Break

(A very apt title from one of Less Than Jake's songs.)

I wrote something in class today that I am half disturbed by and half deliriously joyful about.

It was gory and bloody and so unlike what i stick to. I'm usually subtle about violence-depicting the aftermath or events preceding it. This is because i know that nothing make-up and write can rival a person's imagination. So i take the more effective (yet easy) way out.

Point in fact- its not my style to write something that includes the words 'bloody stumps'. Apparently now it is. I feel like its a barrier I've broken. And it feels good.

But of course, as some sort of unconscious response to what I thought was non-existent societal pressure, immediately after the disturbing piece I wrote a 'normal' one. (Well, for me anyway)

A dent in my momentous 'toeing the line' incident.

Eh, I'll live with it.

Ol post

The following is something I posted ages ago(March 29, 2008) on my Minglebox blog. I read it and in the vain ways of myself found it hilarious. And it also reminded me of that dreadful time in college when it happened. Coincidental that the 'friend' I mention is Yakub. The boy always seems to be laughing his arse off at me.

Here eet ees!

Kind sir, can i have a plate of embarassment please?

Hmph, street urchin! Embarassment is dessert not a main course!

Oh, then can i have some anxiety-induced memory loss and then the embarassment?

All right. Coming right up!

The psychology practicals were bad. They were really really bad. I mean, not the I'm-saying-this-coz-actually-i-SCORED bad. The actual BAD.

I haven't had a chance to let in sink in for the long term. We had only two things to do. Conduct an experiment. Do a stats sum. Not difficult eh? Well, leave it to me to screw it up as royally as i can. I FORGOT, yes forgot, to do the stats sum. i was so relieved that I had done away with the experiment that I gave my paper a cursory look, got up, deposited it with a smirk at the teacher's table and then left the room confidently.

I found out later from a laughing friend that the teacher held up my paper, laughed at it (a few students joined in), and asked who the brilliant person was. Every single person in the room now knows my name. cheers!!

Thank god there's a few days break before i have to go back. But no matter, I'm sure they're laughing at the next idiot already. (i hope. I desperately, hope)

Interesting thing i saw yesterday.

On the back of a cute little green Medicine Van: "Khuda Hafiz"

Here's your medicine, see you on the other side!

Updates

Can SOMEONE please write in my guest book? Its a sad cold world out there.

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I was in an auto on my way to college and I happen to see a boy on a bike-complete with helmet and gloves. Except one of his hands was halfway inside his helmet trying to stuff his cellphone up there. You know, into that little hollow round your ears. Stupid child. I laughed quite a bit actually. Early morning laughter does not require too great a reason apparently.

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"10 Rs extra!"

I wanted to kill him. Instead I got into the auto while muttering "Painful you'll are."

"What?" he said.

I froze like salami in a freezer. And then in an act of brave stupidity or stupid bravado- (whichever) I repeated my cuss.

Luckily he repeated "What?" so i got away with that one.

Phew!

*Ticks 'staring death in the face' off her list of things to do*

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Yakub and I were in the bookshop. I was pestering bookshopuncle for change when Yakub suggests i buy one of those greasy sweets that bookshopuncle often stuffs per force into our hands. I ignore.
Meanwhile girl next to me asks for greasy handful.
Here Yakub feels the need to ask "You don't eat all this or wat?"
I look, pause and then say, "NO!" so vehemently and with such disgust that bookshopuncle and girl turn to me, hands awkwardly frozen in the moment. (The greasy perpetrators staring me in the face.)
I cower in embarassment while Yakub tip-toes backwards and laughs his gut out.
I sneak out a little "sorry!" to the girl but i am met with a cold withering glare that gives me shivers to this minute.
But we laughed at that one for a while too.
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SHOOTING PEOPLE! (and ourselves)

The time is 9:52 a.m
After 11 non stop hours of beheauuutiful sleep I am as refreshed as can be. Though Amumma is unhappy since i was too exhausted to eat dinner yesterday. TOTAL coincidence that i brought it up but Speaking of yesterday...

Yesterday was fun! We were filming for a mock news bulletin and from one thirty to six we were all behaving like one big ferocious lioness who is over protective of her cub. The cub being the HDV camera of course. There was some prowling around the camera, snapping at each other, reprimanding the misbehaving camera and walking through campus in a large group around it(i believe they're called prides).
haha....ahhh*wipes tear from eye* good times, good times.

The second analogy i thought of was Lord of the Rings!

One camera to screw with them all. One camera to mess with 'em. One camera to bring them all and in the darkness torture em. :D

The camera seriously had some kind of evil hold on us all and i was surprised we weren't screaming 'preciiouuuusss' repeatedly by the end of it! (Considering i think i was the most Gollumish of them all)
But the whole afternoon was eventful....we had a few laughs (a certain someone who fell asleep and started snoring during the recording. Plus the point when i began to take things too seriously imagined i was a reporter for CNBC) and a few fights (intra and inter group :D) and lots of walking about like vagabonds with expensive equipment and lots of getting bitten by viciously hungry mosquitos. (And the camera-person (madhu n i) couldn't do anything about it. Self-enforced torture! Wu-hoo!)
I got so used to being stared at and being asked questions that i got a little confused it wasn't happening once the camera was safe at college and i was home.
We had a mini photo session once the camera battery died and and then went home.
All in a day's work! (We have to film again on monday.)
Ta fer now!

Note: Auto guys are VERY interested in any sort of filming. Our piece outside college had to be shot again TWICE because they kept pulling up beside the camera and gazing with glazed eyes at it not realizing that the horrendous noise of their vehicles was streaming into the video like some kind of evil virus. No wonder its called an idiot magnet!!

The Return of Dougie and Examination stories

Dougie has returned! The star reptile of my bedroom stopped by my right wall for a minuscule second before heading over to his favourite hotspot; near his mirror. He checked himself out (AGAIN) in the reflective band of the clock and made a quick exit out the window.
*drumroll*
BUT NOT WITHOUT A QUICK PHOTO!

Dougieproof!

Speaking of strange animals, we recently had examinations and there is a sub-species commonly known as 'invigilators' that are inevitably a part of them..

Our college is really coming down hard on cheating and the invigilators thus, were forced to divulge into the bounty hunting profession, out on the hunt for dirty low down cheats (literally). I found this entire scenario very entertaining and kept bursting out into laughter every now and then-while writing my paper. Obviously this only aroused their suspicion in my 'activities' and I had a tough time not taunting them outright.

Anyway here are a few things that made me laugh:

Halfway through the exam, alls quiet on all fronts, the invigilators are prowling down the aisles praying that they catch someone, anyone, to claim as their prized catch, like brutally competitive fisherman. And then it happened-the ultimate travesty! A phone rang. I immediately looked up (I'd rather have died than missed this moment) in time to catch a flurry of activity. The bounty hunters all stopped in their tracks, beady eyes aglow with the bloodthirst of a hungry tiger. Then simultaneously, they raised their heads upward as far as their necks would allow and turned them to and fro rapidly. IT WAS HILARIOUS! They looked exactly like meer-cats. (See below)
(Please disregard the cat head that popped up suddenly. This is the only nice photo i could scrounge up)
Another fun story that a classmate told me and MM munch after one of the exams goes a little like this. A particular boy (who shall remain unnamed) had a dreadful cold and he was obviously in possession of a handkerchief that was considerably doused in his errr....snot. A lady invigilator (the most ruthless type of this sub-species) walks up to his desk and eyes his 'innocent' looking handkerchief suspiciously. She then proceeded to pick up the sodden rag and unfold it till it couldn't be unfolded anymore and in the process touching its every inch.

Karma is a bitch. And a vindictive little boy with a cold who knew just how to get them back. Well done, son!!

The munches and Yakub have their own way of typical behaviour in the exam hall..

MM is hereby labelled 'tough munch' since she refused to give up her paper till the last minute and resort to a mini-tug of war with the invigilators that was downright ballsy. Me and Pari watched bemusedly from outside the window.
Oshmunch feverishly writes in her paper like she's recharging her life's energy through the act of writing in the goshdarned thing. She is another that refuses to surrender the paper unless the time is beyond up.
Yakub is probably the only one who walks out of the exam hall like a brilliant ray of sunshine. Jokes, grin and all. (While complaining about imminent failure even.)
My main aim after an exam is to get away from the source of my worry as quickly as possible and it works wonders on me!