Tuesday, 16 December 2008


Stalking is a strange thing. The term isn't as 'tightly' defined as you'd think. When i first think stalking, I think-the guy who killed Lennon (watch Chapter 24- the most boring, creepy movie that you'll ever watch) or the kind of people who are obsessed with movie stars. But that's so totally wrong. We're all a bit stalker-ish aren't we? And more often than not we end up thinking its pretty normal or even adventurous.

Facebook, for instance. It's a veritable stalker paradise. Especially if you're in the habit of adding people you don't know. I have often been pulled into a mad session of perusing through a friend's entire album simply because my right index finger attained a mind of its own and started clicking precisely every seven and a half seconds (the time it takes for a photo to load on my slow-ass computer). This one time i happened to turn my head to the right (to stretch out a kink) and caught my expression in one of the four mirrors in my room. (another time, another story). It was a mixture of vacuousness and extreme concentration. I reached up to touch the corner of my mouth actually, very seriously expecting drool to be there. After this horrendous revelatory moment in my young adult life I decided that I would keep my photo watching to a maximum of 5 per album and one album per day. And trust me, it helped.

When you photo watch you tend to commit wholly to the most fatal flaw of humankind. You COMPARE.

Drawing comparisons is like trying to run underwater. You're always up against a wall you can't climb over and its doubly tiring. There's always a better trip, a better idea, a better angle, a better party, a better set of friends or just a gosh darned better camera.

You end up feeling lousy most of the time and extend the validity on your period of feeling "sucky" (aren't i just the chirpiest bird in the bunch?!)

Though it does have its benefits, who're we kidding!? They're all bloody superficial!
And on that cheery note...I'm off to face...er study! ;)

Tuesday, 2 December 2008

Non Trebling news :D

Ohhh...haha...the cheesiness of the title! *wipes tear from eye*

Darling Tups has updated Treble Notes! Go see! :)


A two syllable (three at the most) word that holds so much more importance than you would attribute it considering its meager phonetic roots. But no one I believe, dares undervalue a good (or bad) photograph these days.

Photos are everything. They’re proof, they’re nostalgia, they’re pride, they’re shame, they’re weapons, they’re embarrassment, they’re blackmail and more often than not they’re worth a thousand words.

I must say that up until a few years ago (a.k.a in Sharu’s world as two years. Max.) I would always end up making myself look like a total buffoon in any photographs that I accidentally happened to get caught in (sometimes voluntarily but mostly involuntarily). I have since learned a few tricks that have helped me become less conscious but sometimes I revert back to old Shar and I am once again nervous and sweaty and end up looking either constipated or murderous (surprisingly how similar these two emotions look on my face).

It makes me nostalgic to think of all those times that I would run and assault anybody who had a camera and literally snatch it from them. Then I’d refuse to relinquish control while regretting every minute I spent behind my little pseudo-purdah. I didn’t realize until much later that “GOD it doesn’t matter”! Who gives a flying fuck how you look in a photograph as long as you’re there and it reminds you of something special. And trust me; people who take pleasure in pointing out your ‘retard’ moments caught on film are probably crumbling from the inside out owing to a string of insecurities. One point where I do draw the line is putting up ghastly photos on social networking sites. I mean, there’s a difference between not really caring and really bloody asking for it!

Nowadays I’d still prefer to be the one behind my camera but for totally different reasons. It’s because I have a certain affinity for candid shots of my subjects so that the instant I see it in the future it becomes a story of sorts within one single photograph. (“oh look, I’m angry here because you refused to smile just so” and “she’s running past because she’d just stolen his favourite undies” and “doesn’t he look like he wants to kill her?!” etc, etc.)

But that doesn’t stop me from wanting to be in a fair share of the photos either. Cheers to being a braver me than old me!! \m/

Thursday, 27 November 2008


I have been glued to the tv.

'War on mumbai' is a permanent fixture to the status bar on the right of the screen while the number of dead and injured keeps intermittently flashing accross the bottom. I've been watching since eleven last night and those numbers rose with every time they vanished and appeared again. 40 to 48 to 55 to 59 to 60 to 68 to 70 to 79 to the grand total that it is for now. 101 dead.

I'm praying for those poor people inside the hotels because i know they're twenty thousand times more scared than i am right now for them.
What is wrong with the people in this world.

Wednesday, 26 November 2008


I recently found this. I liked it so much that i put it up here. The conversation was made totally in passing. Neither one of us was too dedicated to the thingumajig and (i'm sure) we'd forgotten about it three seconds after it ended. But i happened to see it now. And it made me smile.

Something totally inane and inconsequential made me smile today when i haven't (except out of necessity) in the past few days. Big surprise.

4:58 PM AKR: art thou fervently hoping for a time machine or a universal remote contorl?(in response to some sad status message of mine on gmail about being in the middle of exams)
4:59 PM me: hoping is sad. im building one.
AKR: really now?
me: the time machine. not the remote control
AKR: outta biscuit carton?
5:00 PM me: no..newspaper
AKR: kick ass
me: and a tv antenna
AKR: i suppose it involves complex time charts
for help you could test it out by dumping it in water and see if it comes out dry
5:02 PM me: i was thinking oil and checking if it floats...but i shall consider your idea..
what EVER does a time machine have to do with time charts?
AKR: of course it does
both deal with time
5:03 PM me: chocolate wrappers and pumpkin seeds. thats about all the extra material i need..
AKR: hmm no glue?
me: rice...its as sticky and definitely biodegradable
5:04 PM AKR: hmmm kick ass

6 minutes
5:10 PM me: yup. if only imagination got me marks.
AKR: yeah

Did it make you smile, i wonder? But then again, i know i'm completely strange so it doesn't matter. :)

Tuesday, 25 November 2008

The Slump of 08

Well, life's full of ups and downs they say. (I must find 'them' and have a chat with 'them')
And i'm in one of em 'downs' people.

Its a freaky place to be. But anyway, at least i'm getting some writing done. :) I have retreated into the literary world of late. And though depressing it is that i can only manage tp put together something literary when i'm depressed, it is the truth. I got out of the funk of writing about depressing things a long time ago, though. I now write what i want to write and not what i feel like. There's a difference, trust me.
Notebooks that i have hoarded like a pack rat and never used have to be dragged out of hidey-holes. And that is not something I'm familiar with. I'm actually thinking about publishing some and that's definitely new. Definitely.

Another world i'm retreating into is that of the cinema. I have watched a shitload of film(yes singular, not plural). Seriously. Five movies after which i truly thank the gods for their existence (the films, not the gods.) I've never given it enough credit. I think its an art; being able to sit motionless, in one place so engrossed in a fictional(well, mostly) character's sordid (or unsordid) life while holding your pee in long enough for you to consider that your kidneys could be failing any minute now. I made it to the loo. Just in case anyones wondering.

As a rebellious action 'gainst my literary inspirations, i'm going to leave all the 'i's from the 'I's and 'I'm's uncapitalized! So there! Depression, i ain't your bitch!
(seriously that was a huge step for me. i don't like spelling stupid words like 'douche bag' wrong. And i have the annoying habit of correcting people's english. Ah well, screw it. If its wrong, its wrong.)

And all jokes aside. I know that somethings going to happen. I'm teetering on the precipice. Waiting for that feather-touch to send me over the edge. Its not a bad thing. Its just.....imminent. And i'm ready for it.

Thursday, 6 November 2008

A'nagar-Home away from Home

The vehery long blog silence has been due to my sheer laziness. One would think its because I am on vacation somewhere in the wilderness of Maharashtra but no, in fact, i am in the warm and safe confines of a beautiful house complete with computer, tata sky and access to the internet. But Dubba was over here with me for a long time and my family is a hand and armful as it is so even looking at the computer to think about writing a blog seemed like a monstrous task. I have dragged myself over here after quite an eventful few days. Today is the day before the last day here and i am feeling it :( (in me very bones Cap'n!)

Ah...what a time it has been! It was sedentary yet eventful, uneventful but peaceful and a whole lot of fun! The gazebo in the garden must have an overwhelming urge to uproot itself and leave just in case we come over again to sit for hours and have loooonng family chats that could appeal to noone but us. The corridor will be mighty empty without me rushing up and down it to get something or the other from my mess-of-a-room. And the dining table won't be groaning with the weight of food that i inhale within minutes of it being placed there.

My parents have changed a lot of houses these past three years but it doesn't matter one tiny bit as long as i get to see the things that have been around me for the past twenty years. You may know what i'm talking about but you also know thats not going to stop me from illustrating with an example. When i see the little wooden bar i feel all warm inside and and not even because of the anticipation of drinking (I don't drink much)! The same goes for the strange coconut ashtray, the twenty thousand magnets on the fridge, the pillow cases i've slept on throughout my childhood, the carpet that still has scuff marks from whenever i was overexcited and so much more. Sigh. There's no place like home. :)

Sunday, 26 October 2008

The Fly Dutchmen and more important stuff

Hey ya'll!
Its Dutch men this time. I have a new band whose music i adore. I shall introduce them on treble notes when my turn eventually comes so please please check them out! Yeh!

I have had an eventful time these past two weeks! :)

The biggest news being that things finally fell into place perfectly and i got my tattoo! Its a phoenix and I'm glad that i waited till now. The munches (MMmunch and osh) were present, cringing as i did, holding my hand(without me asking) and laughing graciously at all the jokes that came as a nervous tic to me in anticipation of the awesome pain that was tattooing (I kid. It didn't hurt all that much. Pretty overrated methinks. But the jokes, i admit, were killer. ) 

One thing irks me about the whole shebazzle(thats a made-up word but you get the idea. If you don't, leave now). The minute people find out i have a tattoo, one of the FAQS is "How much?" whilst eagerly nodding waiting for a ridiculously cheap amount to pop out of my mouth (Twelve rupees!). Well, they do hear a ridiculous amount but one thats at the other end of the spectrum.

In Sharuland, i would nod authoritatively at these people while saying "the tattoo was priceless" but in the real world, i have to admit, it did set me back a bit. But regret doesn't figure in my current mindset. I feel safe and secure in the fact that it will not get infected and i will not in fact get aids (something the oldies in my family never failed to mention while shaking their heads dolefuly when i mentioned getting a tattoo) or some other disease that has nothing whatsoever to do with the needle (did i hear someone say herpes?). I'm happy that i don't have to worry that if it did happen i would have someone to blame and thereafter sue the pants off (pun intended).

Quality counts right!?

In other news(in newscaster-y voice),

  • Today was Widegrin's sister's birthday and i had an utter and total BLAST! The chocolate 'non sponge' cake, the chinese food, the ghost story i told that freaked me out more than anyone else, the chain of ghost stories that followed, lorita's 'ghost story' that made me make my throat soar, the phantom knocks on wood, the hysterical laughter and photo session to top it all before the cloud on the way back home. And noone let me forget the boobage! I loved it all! Thank you WG! :)

  • I'm leaving for Ahmadnagar tomorrow to meet the old man and woman and have a blast! :) Dubba is accompanying me and it should be a fun bus-trip. I am taking my guitar and so my co-passengers shall be well entertained. Whether they like it or not. But the guitar is to be left on the bus. My father has misplaced pride in my guitaring skills and insists on making elaborate plans that all feature me playing in front of an audience. This i do not like. And hence i shall be leaving the guitar on the bus when i reach. Why take it in the first place, you ask? Need you ask when it concerns moi?
It is now 2:34 a.m and i am well out of things to do online since this post is now over. 

Thursday, 16 October 2008

Ima gwain tuh Pune! Whu!

I'm my own conga line!
I swear its fun and easy. And all in three easy steps:

1. Watch joey and learn the joey dance.
2. Four jolts to a circular motion with hands (like stirring a large cauldron) and four words for each jolt. (You can use mine or your own...or increase or decrease words. Really, do what you frikkin want)
3. Don't forget the "Whu!" at the end that is punctuated with an alternately upward-downward both hand throwing out gesture thing, accompanied by weirdly twisting knee-bendy motion.
PS if my instructions are complex, its because I'm being selfish and dont want to share the perfectness fo the dance with you.

Ah, Pune.
My five glorious years in Pune are like a dream for me, or a nightmare. I had a horrendous time there, i had a wonderful time there. I'm effin dissapointed i didn't stay but i'm glad i got out when i did. I think i made great friends there(even if i suck at keeping in touch with them). I know i made a few enemies (even if im the one who hates them and they hardly know i exist).

And now, i've been in Bangalore for 2 years, 4 months and 16 days(half the time i was in Pune). 2 years, 4 months, 16 days of growing up, feeling the pain, being stepped on, kickin ass, hauling ass, being victorious, being rebellious, being secretive, being told off, telling people off, being miserable, being elated and finally realizing that vanilla is indeed my favourite ice cream for a reason and that i like being this person. This irrevocably crazy, at times insecure person who just can't get enough of learning about herself through obsessively scrutinizing other people.
And thats why i love both these places. I love them because they have attached to their very core whoever i am today(talk about being in love with inanimate objects!). To sum it all up its like i'm a snail making slow progress through life while leaving slime marks all over these places like a personal marking ritual.
I realize the analogy is just pure absurd and grose but its late and i'm distracted.

D day- 25th October

Ben Stiller is Hilarious

I was youtubing.
And i found this:
Jack Johnson-Taylor
And i watched it. And laughed.
And laughed.
And watched it again.

Ben Stiller is hilarious.
And Jack Johnson is a doll.

Thursday, 2 October 2008

Respondez s'il vous plait.....or not!

I'm not much of a talker on the phone. In fact, most times that i am on the phone, unless its a call with a specific purpose, I'm thinking of things I could be doing that are more useful. It doesn't have anything at all to do with the person on the other end. Its just a feeling of restlessness that is mystically attached to the phone being close to my ear.
But there are a few people who i can just be on the phone with and not feel restless and not say anything at all because they just have so much to say and its such a pleasure listening to them. Its like this deep well of a personality that I'm peering into, slowly getting accustomed to the lighting and the contents of the well; gauging and coming to the conclusion that i chose a good well to peer into in the first place! Its deeply satisfying. Because you hang up feeling like you've accomplished something.
There are still a few who i can just be silent with on the phone. Meaning utter silence as both of us do something completely individual. Aside from being a complete and utter waste of money, this activity gives you a warm feeling that i have christened 'notaloneness'. You know that another person is on the line and it somehow makes whatever it is you are doing worthwhile. Plus there is instant friendly advice to be garnered in these cases.
Finally, family falls into just a completely exclusive. I love them too much to have any other feeling except contentment while talking to them.

Saturday, 13 September 2008


Sigh. You'll should know by now that i have a strange affinity for this one band called McFly. I don't know why and I don't know know how but when I listen to them i just feel so uplifted. No, not spiritually you dodos. Just my mood!

I was sitting in class the other day i a kind of foul mood and listening to McFly on my phone with Yakub. I swear to you he is now an official convertee. He said it made him tension-free as well!! :)

And in Barista during one of our jaunts i whipped out my trusty phone an played a few McFly numbers and lo and behold Joshua grooving to them! :) I revealed only later on that it was McFly and he revealed that he would chek em out later! I was so thrilled!

Whenever i say "i like McFly" people's first reaction is to say "Who?" and when i tell them, "Oh, they're this awesome pop band from Britain." its like someone switched off all the interest in their faces after the word 'pop'. And what's worse is that as soon as i see a biased, prejudiced freak beginning to be biased and prejudiced, i just become all the more exhuberant about McFly and SO VERY defensive. Not a very good start, eh? But seriously, why that reaction, i ask you!? As soon as someone hears pop they can think only of Britney spears or that boots female-Jessica Simpson and they immediately assume pop is crap! And I'm not too ashamed to admit that a few of Britney Spears' songs were actually decent. Heck, i used to sing 'em!

And I'll have you know that the Beatles were pop! All THE WAY..but listening to them is cool right? So why should listening to McFly be such a big frikkin deal? And heaven forbid me from telling people that i'm not that much of a rock fan anymore. I'd get stoned. The bad kind of stoned. With actual pieces of hard earth.

The crowd mentality is just too cumbersome to follow all the time. I agree that sometimes we just gotta go with the crowd for the good of all that you hold dear but for god's sake if the crowd is horrendously wrong or dissillusioned about something, then by all means, TELL THEM. They're pretty harmless actually. If you're persuasive and confident enough they'll listen to you with eyes wide and interested, drool hanging an inch off their lips. What do people want? They want something better. Even if you have the best of the best you will never be content. That's just the human way of thinking. So if you convince them that what you're offering is better trust me, they will follow you to the ends of the earth. Wish i had enough charisma to carry that off! McFly woulda had the entire Indian subcontinent backing them up. :D (Well, at least the southern half)

And speaking of McFly (was i talking about them? hmm...can't remember)

RADIO:active is a great album! Not as great as the previous albums but its pretty great! :) Few songs i like in order of preference:

Lies (the ten second bass riff is just awesomeness! :) plus i love the end)
Corrupted (has a very nice riff in the beginning.)
Do ya (Sucha poppy cute song! The pitch increases after each stanza but they still manage to make it sound great!)
Point of view
One for the Radio (repetitive but great anyway)
Everybody knows

Acoustic versions of a few: (all awesome)
Do ya
One for the Radio
Everybody Knows

Sunday, 7 September 2008

SHOOTING PEOPLE! (and ourselves)

The time is 9:52 a.m
After 11 non stop hours of beheauuutiful sleep I am as refreshed as can be. Though Amumma is unhappy since i was too exhausted to eat dinner yesterday. TOTAL coincidence that i brought it up but Speaking of yesterday...

Yesterday was fun! We were filming for a mock news bulletin and from one thirty to six we were all behaving like one big ferocious lioness who is over protective of her cub. The cub being the HDV camera of course. There was some prowling around the camera, snapping at each other, reprimanding the misbehaving camera and walking through campus in a large group around it(i believe they're called prides).
haha....ahhh*wipes tear from eye* good times, good times.

The second analogy i thought of was Lord of the Rings!

One camera to screw with them all. One camera to mess with 'em. One camera to bring them all and in the darkness torture em. :D

The camera seriously had some kind of evil hold on us all and i was surprised we weren't screaming 'preciiouuuusss' repeatedly by the end of it! (Considering i think i was the most Gollumish of them all)
But the whole afternoon was eventful....we had a few laughs (a certain someone who fell asleep and started snoring during the recording. Plus the point when i began to take things too seriously imagined i was a reporter for CNBC) and a few fights (intra and inter group :D) and lots of walking about like vagabonds with expensive equipment and lots of getting bitten by viciously hungry mosquitos. (And the camera-person (madhu n i) couldn't do anything about it. Self-enforced torture! Wu-hoo!)
I got so used to being stared at and being asked questions that i got a little confused it wasn't happening once the camera was safe at college and i was home.
We had a mini photo session once the camera battery died and and then went home.
All in a day's work! (We have to film again on monday.)
Ta fer now!

Note: Auto guys are VERY interested in any sort of filming. Our piece outside college had to be shot again TWICE because they kept pulling up beside the camera and gazing with glazed eyes at it not realizing that the horrendous noise of their vehicles was streaming into the video like some kind of evil virus. No wonder its called an idiot magnet!!

Wednesday, 27 August 2008

The Return of Dougie and Examination stories

Dougie has returned! The star reptile of my bedroom stopped by my right wall for a minuscule second before heading over to his favourite hotspot; near his mirror. He checked himself out (AGAIN) in the reflective band of the clock and made a quick exit out the window.


Speaking of strange animals, we recently had examinations and there is a sub-species commonly known as 'invigilators' that are inevitably a part of them..

Our college is really coming down hard on cheating and the invigilators thus, were forced to divulge into the bounty hunting profession, out on the hunt for dirty low down cheats (literally). I found this entire scenario very entertaining and kept bursting out into laughter every now and then-while writing my paper. Obviously this only aroused their suspicion in my 'activities' and I had a tough time not taunting them outright.

Anyway here are a few things that made me laugh:

Halfway through the exam, alls quiet on all fronts, the invigilators are prowling down the aisles praying that they catch someone, anyone, to claim as their prized catch, like brutally competitive fisherman. And then it happened-the ultimate travesty! A phone rang. I immediately looked up (I'd rather have died than missed this moment) in time to catch a flurry of activity. The bounty hunters all stopped in their tracks, beady eyes aglow with the bloodthirst of a hungry tiger. Then simultaneously, they raised their heads upward as far as their necks would allow and turned them to and fro rapidly. IT WAS HILARIOUS! They looked exactly like meer-cats. (See below)
(Please disregard the cat head that popped up suddenly. This is the only nice photo i could scrounge up)
Another fun story that a classmate told me and MM munch after one of the exams goes a little like this. A particular boy (who shall remain unnamed) had a dreadful cold and he was obviously in possession of a handkerchief that was considerably doused in his errr....snot. A lady invigilator (the most ruthless type of this sub-species) walks up to his desk and eyes his 'innocent' looking handkerchief suspiciously. She then proceeded to pick up the sodden rag and unfold it till it couldn't be unfolded anymore and in the process touching its every inch.

Karma is a bitch. And a vindictive little boy with a cold who knew just how to get them back. Well done, son!!

The munches and Yakub have their own way of typical behaviour in the exam hall..

MM is hereby labelled 'tough munch' since she refused to give up her paper till the last minute and resort to a mini-tug of war with the invigilators that was downright ballsy. Me and Pari watched bemusedly from outside the window.
Oshmunch feverishly writes in her paper like she's recharging her life's energy through the act of writing in the goshdarned thing. She is another that refuses to surrender the paper unless the time is beyond up.
Yakub is probably the only one who walks out of the exam hall like a brilliant ray of sunshine. Jokes, grin and all. (While complaining about imminent failure even.)
My main aim after an exam is to get away from the source of my worry as quickly as possible and it works wonders on me!

Sunday, 24 August 2008

NEW BLOG-Treble Notes

I have a new blog!!
I realized that i was writing more and more about songs that i liked on this blog. And its enough to make another blog about exclusively. That one i will update weekly most probably. Pop by and check it out! I promise it'll be worth it and you may find some pretty good music!
The link is www.pridenoprejudice.blogspot.com

Saturday, 23 August 2008


1) Made feckin labels. Lots of them. Laborously thought up label names and then assigned all posts labels.

2) Changed template. Changed it back.

3) Removed 'This day in History'. If you're thinking

"Huh? This day in history? Wassat?"

Then i guess i did the right thing! Cheers!

4) Added one more crazy metaphor (which i am proud of)

Sunday, 6 July 2008

Soul Men (Sigh)

Yikesipee! (as MM munch would say since she's obsessed with that Tad Hamilton movie )

I know i have raved about him before. But you must watch this guy singing. You must, you must!
Marc Broussard singing 'Come in from the cold'.
Raw, live; awesome!

And another soul man is Shawn Mullins. (yes, thats how his name is spelt)
This second dude's voice is pure but tampered with-GOLD! Its reedy and bassy and just makes your heart reverberate and i recommend him to anyone who has a pair of ears. Or even one ear.

Shawn Mullins singing his song 'Lullaby'.
You must also check out his version of House of the Rising Sun:

Saturday, 5 July 2008

It ain't Happening

The munches went for a movie and we were expecting to be scared, startled or at least slightly discomfited. Little did we know that Mr. M. Night Shyamalan has now become a master of comedy.
Here are a few fun facts and some made-up stuff about the movie-The Happening-:

The concept: pretty strange but great anyway.
The cinematography: Nice, nothing groundbreaking.
The actors: The three of us had our own theories but mine i shall state and it goes something like this-
Maybe the actors all forgot how to act whilst filming the movie. After the filming was over, they returned to their normal movie-worthy selves. You know, one of those freak unexplainable phenomenons like stonehenge or the Bermuda triangle.
They made strange inappropriate faces, they made strange innapropriate noises, they looked scared when they should have been angry, they looked constipated when they should have looked scared. It was like watching Joey(from Friends, you clueless people) and his "smell-the-fart-acting". Not Pretty.
The script: Probably what a five-year old boy and a monkey with alzheimer's would come up with if you confined them to a room and forced them to write a screenplay within the hour.

Marc Wahlberg was just hilarious. He should get an Oscar or something.
Zooey Deschannel was strange beyond belief.
John Leguizamo was one huge, lisping disaster and we even laughed at the way he just got out of the car, sat on the road and killed himself.

Now you guys know I exxagerate a tad, and that i sometimes use that to get a laugh or two but this time, its for real. (Its the shizz! As MM munch and i would say)

One particular scene from movie that had us giggling:
Lady is on phone with her terrified daughter and daughter is telling her that she is standing near window looking at a bunch of dead people.
MW says authoritatively: "Tell her to stay away from the windows! Stay away from the trees! Stay away from the trees."
Mother tells daughter to do so but by this time, the daughter is mumbling gibberish and consequently jumps out window. (sound of breaking glass and then wind blowing through window)
Mother (hysterically): Baby!? Babbbyy?
MW takes phone from mother, listens for a second and then says, "I can hear the wind"
Then as the mother becomes truly hysterical, MW is totally demoralized and proceeds to go and collapse butt-first into some shrubbery.

We couldn't help ourselves. We just burst out laughing, looking at him, just sitting there in the bushes. The rest of the movie wasn't different. We found something or the other to laugh hysterically at.

I leave with a small bit from the movie that has us laughing even today.

Sunday, 22 June 2008


Its disgusting!
I just heard from sources (youtube) that Mcfly maybe signing a strange contract with McDonald's that will put pictures of them on every McDonald's carton in the UK. This in itself isn't disgusting (ok mebbe a tad. They're objectifying themselves!). What is disgusting is that if they do sign the contract then their album release date will be pushed back to September!! ARGH! Its disgusting and I refuse to remove the countdown timer thing i had so painstakingly put up a few days ago. I am going to be a dumbbunny and still hope and pray that the date stays the same. Meanwhile I'm listening to Here's another song for the radio amidst woeful sighs.

Saturday, 21 June 2008

Two new loves. One new Fascination.

Marc Broussard

My lord! This man's voice is just awe inspiring. Its almost as good as Marley's, in that it is TRADEMARK. Now if i hear his voice again I'll know it. Flat out know it. Its reedy quality is just awesome and his style of singing is 'being involved'. I don't know if its a drawback for him as a performer but he just loses himself in the song so much that you'd think he was alone and really didn't care if he had an audience or not! His eyes closed tight, every emotion of the song showing through on his face and with that you just know that he's LOVING what he's doing at that very moment. This is what i call soul music. Anyway, I'm burning rubber on youtube trying to find every live performance of the guy there is to see and i just had to blog about it. Had to had to had to.

No. Not the american kind. That's just glamourised Fight Club. I'm talkin bout this year's UEFA suddenly catching my fancy after twenty years of being alive. I don't know what it is. Mebbe its the Bangalore weather. Mebbe its the new medication i'm taking. I don't know but i like to watch football now. I don't know much about the intricacies of the game and i sur do't know all the 'legends'of the game but i'm a fast learner.

Anyway, Germany is my favourite at this point. (It has nothing to do with the fact that they're winning right now. Nothing i say.)

My fascination is with my new friend in my room. My semi-pet-who-is-kinda-like-me LIZARD!
Yep, the shardom has a new subject-reptilian mind you-who is narcissitic as hell! I have decided to name him Dougie. Well, anyway, Dougie keeps coming out from behind my desk/mirror thing and travels stealthily to my wall clock that has a shiny reflective band around it and here, Dougie comes to a halt. He then proceeds to stare at his reflection in the reflective material, tilting his head this way and that to get better angles. I am not kidding you here! He just hung around there for the entire episode of 'Bones' that i was watching. Since i knew i had to blog about this and you guys wouldn't believ me, i got a photo! Yes, i caught Dougie the narcissitic reptile in the act! And here is the proof.
I was a tad nervous and hence the camera shook:

A better shot. The doug was still sitting pretty and loving it.

A close-up and he was still checking himself out:

The flash irked him a bit, but did he run away? No! He's one solid narcissist he is, our Dougie.

Sunday, 15 June 2008

Three a.m

Thanks to kristopher and pari. Their reactions helped me click the 'publish' button.

I feel like my whole entire life is passing me by. That I am twenty and I haven’t a revelation to my name. I fear my entire life will pass by in replica decades and that I will be left an old woman with regrets that clutch at her throat, bringing her to tears ever so often. Nothing to achieve. Nothing to look forward to. Just a vacuum ironically filled with hope yet reigning back hope to replace it with pessimism.
I am in turmoil. I am in constant contradiction of my pessimistic thoughts. Yet it remains. Like a cold stone in my gut. Immovable, impassable, ever-present. I’m beginning to realize that I am beginning to give in to this stone and its call. It is inscribed with the stories of millions of others, as human and imperfect as I, who just gave up. Who surrendered because it was too difficult to make a life in their world.

I often pray to a god I do not believe in. I pray feverishly for me to be transported back to a time where I will feel at ease with myself and those around me. I grit my teeth as I pray. Knowing how foolish I must sound. For this reason I would never voice my turmoil to a soul. It remains within my being. As though bound to the stone in my gut. The stone of the losers-the people who have given up. Who let fear feed on their persona and let the stone become a cancerous growth that becomes heavier and heavier till it consumes them whole and stiffens the blood in their veins.
Why must I be like this? I believe I have talent. I believe that I am as good as most out there yet I am bogged down by my eyes that register every movement of those I envy and by the thoughts that enter my head as my eyes are feverishly taking in all they can. The thoughts dissuade me. The thoughts make me feel like I have nowhere to go. That I have reached a deadly plateau of ‘average’ and have ceased any forward movement.
My body tingles as I write this because the truth does that. It makes you tingle in places. Your neck, your head, your stomach. It makes you feel like your pores are vibrating. Like they are all alive at once. I have often felt this. When I fall into bed and am still for the first time in a day. Then they vibrate. But that is a good vibration. They thank me for the work I did. For making them feel alive, for making them work together. But this is different. They want to no longer work as a unit but as individuals. I want to give in to them. But all I do is run my fingers hard through my hair to create a rival sensation. To forget their tingling. Or at least to mask it. To mask their traitorous aim. To feel whole again. But they continue. They continue to whisper, to vibrate and whisper pleas of freedom. But no I will not let them go. I will not let them be individual. I will deny them their pleasure as I feel I have been denied mine.
The stone is my gut is feeling warm. It is often warm as it shrinks. I run my hands hard through my hair, over my shoulders, down my arms and over my stomach. The tingling is going away, but it echoes still in my wretched memory, lingering as a warning of it return. But then that will be in a while, when I feel hopeless again. When I think of giving up again. When I am weak again.
For now I am safe. I feel the warmth of confidence. I decide on which smile to smile. The one that makes my one dimple show, I think. That one is a winner on most days, on most people. I square my shoulders. I suck in my gut. I walk into the room and I am me again. No one must ever know.

Thursday, 12 June 2008

Cellphone Celibacy

It is that time of the year again when people jeer at me, laugh and point fingers and call me careless. (other than the other times in the year)
I have lost another phone.

The date: 10th of june (two days after my birthday might i add)
The time: approx ten to nine p.m
The place: The railway station at Delhi.
The company: MM

If anyone sees a light blue cellphone with the numbers rubbed off the keypad please return it to its rightful and mourning owner. It is either on the railway platform at Nizammudin station or in the Rajdhani on its way to Bangalore.
Some people might laugh, some shake heads condescendingly, some sympathize but nothing will bring back my constant companion who served me well through our short-lived relations. He was a dear friend, a trustworthy store of information (ALL those numbers!!) and a faithful alarm when nothing else could wake my kumbhakarna self.
Fare thee well my friend and as a last favour, please electrocute the sob that has you now. Well. As much as you can anyway.

Something that made me laugh hysterically today:

MM suddenly remembers in class what we were trying to in lucknow and writes it down in the middle of a very serious class.
"I just remember what she said! Shellfish! She said 'don't be shellfish' ''
I'm shaking with mirth. And she's sitting beside me, looking politely interested in the lecture. I shake further.

Dubba and me standing outside my home trying to catch an auto for the better part of an hour today. She stops one and they talk and she walks off in a huff toward me.
"What did he say?" i ask, mildly interested.
Dubba says with poorly concealed chagrin:
He said "twenty bucks"!
And i said "why" and he said "to sit in the auto."
So i said "You, bloody, you take your auto and go"
I laughed. Very hard. Hung onto her arm for support, I did. If you didn't find that funny then you're the strange one. Not me.

Sunday, 8 June 2008

I'm it.

I'm it!
I'm an it. I got tagged now I'm an it! I like being an it.
Now on to the game...


Browsing through books at Blossoms. Even if its a hundred degrees and i leave a trails of sweat behind me.

Laughing at made-up scenarios with my munches.

Finding a book that i have read before but would read again and again.


I am mumbai-phobic. For some strange reason.

Burning clothes while ironing. It has happened. It will happen again. And i am petrified of losing more clothes.

Cockroaches. Lizards, i can handle. Rats i can juggle. But cockroaches ought to die. The lot of them.


Writing a book. And publishing it at a major publishing house. (When noone's looking)

Going to Italy.

Meeting McFly


McFly. It is disgusting. It is immature. But i like it and all the haters can go and boil.

Desiree by anne Marie Selinko. The book i read long ago and recently bought and am reading yet again. sigh.

My new guitar. My fingers will never be chapped enough. (They look like a troll's.)


I can sing. i can play guitar. I can't do em together.

I get along very well with most auto drivers. I mean, very well. Like loooong conversation-well.

I sing a portuguese song in my head that i don't know the words to. This is courtesy my father and my uncles. I sing gibberish words instead.

And thats all folks! *smiles piggily and waves*

Oh...its my birthday btw.

And i feel all of the twenty years i am. But whatevr i feel like, i still act like a three year old (a grumpy one at times). Nothing's changed dude! *makes horizontal V with fingers*

12/06/08: I forgot to tag five people. How silly, how forgetful, how me.





and again with the uneven numbers thing. So only four tagged. Not five.

Monday, 2 June 2008

Of Lucknow & the munches

Lucknow is a beautiful place.
The architecture is just so heavenly for a weirdo like me- my home and the city!
The roads in the market we visited today were infested, for lack of any better word to use, with people. The buildings are gorgeous peices of British raj architecture that are cloaked with the grime of over-use and inhabitation. You almost forget that most of them are an average of two hundred years old!
All the memories of people and events attached to it seem to rush at me when i look at them and i always leave with a warm feeling of having gone through time. (Ah, if only!) I wouldn't mind living in one of those aged structures at all. I'd take high ceilings and rotting plumbing ANY day as opposed to sleek, lo maintenance flats! I can imagine myself in one of those cutesy rooms, with a strangely coloured, rickety ceiling fan and a wooden screen in one corner and a rocking chair in the other. All this looking onto a busy street though stained glass windows or wooden arches. Sigh.

The house here is awesome and i have been so busy being rapt with pleasure that i have neglected taking any classy photos of the place. That shall be next on my agenda.
Now as for my company,
I have realized that time spent with the munches is time well spent. ANY amount of time. WHATEVER we're doing, its fun.
Whether we're laughing hysterically at made-up scenarios or arguing, or being snappy or sharing companionable silences.
Aaah. The joy of time well spent is...well..a joy.
Anyway, Lucknow is hosting the munches for now and the two days we have spent here have been fun even though they did not include anything Lucknowi per say. Two dinners out, one argument, one afternoon of awesome gift giving (courtesy MM) and some questionabl guitar-playing later and i can't wait for it all to start again tomorrow!
I'm glad for the munches.
I'm glad for Lucknow.
This is one contented bunny rite now.
Oh, and my family rocks too.

Thursday, 22 May 2008

Writer's Unblock

Yes, its that beautiful time in a decade when i can't say i'm suffering from writer's block(or inherent laziness) and that is why i am blogging more than once today!

I have a few embarassing moments to discuss!

She lies. She lies.

Fine. They're aplenty in my life but i'll choose the golden moment and put it up here since i know you have lives and have better things to do. :)
This latest one i am actually proud of.

My mom, dad and i were at Hyderabad International Airport two weeks ago all checked in and waiting to board. Let me just say that this airport is pretty snazzy, by indian standards. All shiny (well, for now) and new. It was the kind that is lit so bright that you're constantly afraid you're gonna do something stupid (like i did).
So...i decide while waiting that i'm gonna go to the loo (which i thought i could do effortlessly but turns out i can't.)
I was thinking about romantic novels (don't ask) and walking towards the loo. I walked in, vaguely noticing a big blue illustration (really, they should make the "signs" more distinguishable. I mean women wear pants as well nowadays.) So i walk through and there's like this little area with a wash basin and mirror and there's this guy there. And he looks at me and i look at him and we both look away. He says nothing.

I was thinking :"Hmm...this part must be common"
The sadist that he was, he musta been thinking :"She gwain get embah-rassed!"

I walk in and there's six men, three on each side, facing the wall. Unless it was some kind of mexican stand-off in the women's loo, i guessed that they were doin their business and it was at this point that i realized where i was and my cheeks turned a darker shade of red and i felt like i was on fire (not in a good way)
And any normal woman would turn tail and run but nooooo...i just muted the sound of my heels by tip-toeing and heading for one of the stalls. All the while i was thinking..
Great. Now if one of them turns around they'll think i'm some kind of weirdo pervert who tip-toes around men's loos. (I wouldn't blame them. I felt like a pervert)
I was in the stall so i went about my business (getting embarassed makes me wanna pee apparently) and laughed at myself quietly before walking out confidently, head high in the air and heart high in my throat. I thought i could just walk out and try to vanish into a large group of tourists or something but obviously i met my dad on the way out who says incredulously,
"Thats the men's loo!"
to which i mumble something to the effect of
"*giggle* yea i know"
Dumb dumb.
It still wasn't over. I was trying to hurry away when the guy who was mopping the floors stops mopping, looks at me, grins and says while pointing, "That side ladie's loo madam".
Yes, thanks. That helps.
I walked away without replying, tossing my hair for effect.

Depressed Bunnies, Jefferey Archer and the five year plan!

I was just going through my other blog that i made a long time ago. It is so superbly cringe-worthy. Yikes! I can't believe i thought it was net-worthy. (I used worthy twice. haha)
Its filled with these depressing poems that i probably wrote when i was in one of my 'moods'. i was one depressed bunny! Hmm...i wonder if bunnies get depressed. I dunno...mebbe they're depressed all the time. And i just realized that bunnies pretty much make no sounds-at all. They're dumb. Which makes me wonder if they're deaf as well. Coz we had rabbits when i was younger and i don't particularly remember them responding to the ghastly names we gave them. Not one sideways look. Not a raised ear. Nothing. Maybe the bunnies I had were depressed, deaf and dumb. I don't know.
My friend and i used to have fun with them though. We didn't exactly torture them but what we did is kind of in the gray area. Can't arrest or commend us for what we did. (Hah! In your face PETA) So anyway, we used to kidnap one of the bunnies, take it in to the drawing room, set it down on the sofa and push down. and guess what used to happen!?
Voila! It used to poop! Every single time! That was one weird rabbit.
haha...wipes tear from corner of eye.
We had some fun times.
Too bad that some stray dogs got to the bunnies.
I shan't recount that story! Poor bunnies. They couldn't even scream.
Goshdarnitalltohell. Now i'm sad. :(
On a perkier note, I may be meeting Jefferey Archer tomorrow! He's on his India book tour and he's in Bangalore tomorrow. I can't wait. He's a Lord. Finally, I'm meeting someone of my calibre! xD
Jefferey Archer made me think about my five year plan. (No he didn't. I just wanted to add it here because i didn't want to write a new post because ah'm a lazy bum)
my five-year plan is actually quite cool. It makes me kind-of focused at the moment. I discussed it with widegrin and she agrees that its brilliant. But then again, she's the kind of friend who would supoport you if she found out that you pooped rabbits. (this rabbit thing is not going away too quickly.)
Ta fer now!

two minutes after publishing post: wtf is supoport? haha.

(*Mad n Pari: you suck at nuards. Look at mine.)

Tuesday, 20 May 2008

She shan't like Sreesanth. She shan't i say! She shan't!

I was just watching tv and i realize after watchin a particular ad that i dislike that bloke Sreesanth. Immensely. i just want to rip his beard off his cry booby face.
I mean, who knowingly breaks down in front of millions of people accross the world and lives throught the knowledge that he is an embarassment to all that is decent, dignified and untarnished by salt water, in cricket.
I don't like cricket. I dislike the idea of watchin three hours of cricket but i still have a certain affection for the entire game since it makes us indians so crazy (as opposed to uh...the usually stable us). And here he is, this stupid-ad doing, curly-haired, pouty-faced donk-head, acting like a baby. Gawd! And the latest add for a certain dark coloured drink makes him all the more irritating. All i can think about when i see his unshaven face is that he cries like a five year old deprived of candy. Its a wonder he has facial hair at all, for that matter.
Phew. I just had to get that off my chest.
Lovely weather here. Cheers!
Post. Script: The british inflection to my posts hereforth are influence from watching way too many mcfly videos in way too short a time.

Blog Tag Game thingamajiggy

Yes, well..i was asked, uh..invited to do this blog tag game thing yesterday...a week ago.. ALL right..it was three weeks ago. But i've been busy. Doing thngs i wanted to do. (Recently i sat in my room for the ENTIRE day without getting up to go out except to pee *twice*...to eat *thrice* and to meet n greet an annoying guest. Guiness here i come.)
So anyway, back to blog tag game thingam....oh gawd here it is.

Blog Tag game 1:
Last movie seen in a theatre: Death at a Funeral Friday night with the munches and Jay. British comedy. Funny. The thought of Uncle Alfie will forever give me the jitters.
What book are you reading? Eric by Terry Pratchitt
Favourite board game: i recall a particularly fun game of LIFE! once. I had six children (apparently they don't provide birth control with the game) and retired as a millionaire to the jungle.
Favourite magazine: Eh...I'm gonna say India Today. "Coz nothing. i don't read magazines." will sound cheesy.
Favourite smells: Old books. NEW FABRIC. Mangos. Peaches. Lots of others. (I'm letting this one stay the same since MM's answer was better than the crap one i had in mind)
Favourite sound; A tuned guitar. since mine will never be that way.
Worst feeling in the world: Stapling your finger. Trust me.
What is the first thing you think of when you wake up? Hmm..I wonder how i'll embarass myself today?
Favourite fast food place: Meh....probably home. I can cook up real crap food real fast. Come on ovah!
Future child’s name: Yes, I’ve thought that far. (MM's answer again. This girl is funny)
Finish this statement, “If I had a lot of money I’d…” Buy McFly and drag them around with me in a cage that they have to play live acoustic versions of ALL their songs in EVERY day for the rest of their/my sad live/s.
Do you drive fast? Often. When I'm ecstatic or furious or late.
Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? No. Never was much of a stuffed toy person.
Do you eat the stems on broccoli? What kind of indian food has broccoli i ask you? wat IS broccoli. The only reason i have a soft spot for broccoli is becasue Mcfly has a song named broccoli.
If you could dye your hair any colour, what would be your choice? something dark red. I dunno. I'd probably get do-overs till i feel its right.
Name all the different cities/towns you have lived in:Oh gawd. Bangalore, delhi, jalandhar, udhampur, ferozpur, pune, trivandrum, lalaland.
Favourite sports to watch: Blah. If I HAVE to, then cricket. MM's answer saves the day. again.
One nice thing about the person who sent this to you: her answers are better.
What’s under your bed? The small table i use to eat food or write on my bed. I told you i didn't leave my room much.
Would you like to be born as yourself again? easily embarassed, moody, reclusive at times, sarcastic as hell, socially handicapped. yes please.
Morning person or night owl? DEFINITELY night owl.
Over easy or sunny side up? sunny side up. with corn flakes. yum.
Favourite place to relax: my room.
Favourite ice cream flavour: plain jane says Vanilla.

You pass this tag to –Osh, Pari, kristopher, Tups (I'm not tagging five people because i don't like odd numbers.)

Of all the people you tagged this to, who’s most likely to respond first? probably Kristopher.

Ok so what you guys have to do is copy this tag game, paste, link the person who tagged you (me!) and choose five more people to tag and link them.Go on, its not that difficult! You can do it! Fly forth my children! Fly forth!

Friday, 16 May 2008

The Scarlett Lady

meh. I have a confession to make. I am cheating.
Yes, I am cheating. And whatever you do-gooders are thinking right now, i do not care. I don't care that you think i am morally repugnant or that i will probably go to a very hot (no i dont mean chic) place after i die. I am cheating. Its completely true and i'm ashamed but i do not regret it. I'll say it one last time: I am cheating. On blogger. I'm cheating on blogger with wordpress. I feel horrendous. I mean, i'm usually a very loyal person i am! I stick by people who i believe in and i am pretty much an innocent-until-proven-guilty kinda person.
But gawd! Wordpress really rocks. I will of course continue the relationship i have with blogger but things, i know, will never be the same. sigh. change is sometimes a terrible thing.
So anyway, if you guys want a change of scene then this very blog is also on wordpress at the following location.
i am right now listening to John Paul White's "Can't get it out of my head". seems appropriate.
Ta fer now!

Wednesday, 7 May 2008

Starer Jane.

i haven't blogged in a while because i've been kind of busy.
She lies. She lies.
been going to work regularly (yuh-huh) and working, when there, non-stop.
*uncomfortable silence*
Actually i must tell the truth ("ABout TIME!") and say that there were TWO hectic days at office before which i was pretty undisturbed by stress and after which i managed to fabricate this feeling of having had to work hard for a year. I actually, physically feel tired. Well, thaz meh. Mebbe i can fabricate experiencing other emotions as well. *jiggles eyebrows expressively* (expressing what, noone dare ask)
I have just realized that i have not an expressive face. My 'quietly-contemplating' look looks pretty much like my constipated look and my 'interestedly-observing' look looks pretty much like jack-the-ripper stalking his prey.
My friends have often told me (while affectionately reminiscing ofcourse) that before they knew me i used to creep them out. (Aah...how i enjoy the joys of friendship. eh? did i just use joy TWICE in a sentence??) Anyway, my reaction to that;

Inward: yuh-huh(note to munches: this is my new catchphrase)! i should totally stop doing that dude!
Outward: Pshaw! i don't do that! You guys suck. (As you may have noticed, my vocabulary sure has improved)

But, in conclusion, yes i do stare at people when i'm bored. I just can't help it! I'm not lusting, not plotting murder, i'm just politely staring. People fascinate me so! You can totally make out the inner workings of a group of people by observing (STARING at) them for a few minutes. Mebbe thats why the friends i pick turn out ok in the end because i stay away from the ones i get a negative impression from whilst i am staring at them.

I'm literally out of breath from that sentence.Try saying it out loud!

DISCLAIMER: I am not responsible for the death of people who are dumb enough to listen to me. And having said that i have two more suggestions:
Climb up a lampost and throw yourself off it! (This one provided me and the munches with a lot of laughing time)
"Curl-up and die, die, die"-sung to the tune of Rihanna's Shut up and drive (This one as well!)

Saturday, 26 April 2008

Internship story II

Four words that made me happy today: "What do you think"

Dude and duder from *** real estate agency walk into office for a preliminary look at our ideas for their brochures, flyers et stalls for exhibition. Sat down for about an hour.
Twas fun. Especially when my boss asks me : "Any inputs Sharanya?". She probably saw the deperate look in my eye that clearly said "ASK MEEE! PLEASEE!" After her enquiry i was immediately pulled into the discussion and boy was i glad! Since most of the copy ideas were my babies, i rattled on about the one we'd chosen and allayed their doubts about its viability. I was so happy that i didn't stutter or spit (as i am usually prone to do). But this was ok! Later, me and dude are looking at the mock-up on the comp and my boss leaves to take a call and we're alone in the room. Since i am the queen of awkward silences, one obviously followed. And then...

Dude: (looking at brochure) "What do you think?"
Me: (almost choke on spit but recover) "Erm...its nice!"
At this point i was thinking what a shite thing to say!! i should have said, its brilliant! Mind blowing! Now he's gonna ask for a do-over and my boss is gonna fire my ass! Might as well leave right now.
Dude: "Why do you think its just nice?"
Shit. I desperately look to see if my boss is returning this century and stall by pretending to cough.
Me: "Well, you know. I think the tagline may give a kind of negative vibe to a reader. And one of the advantages of a good tagline is that it draws a potential customer in. This tagline just sounds nice. It doesn't actualy have anything to do with what you're showcasing right?" (i ended on a questioning note because his face had remained impassive the entire time)
I've blown it.
Dude: "And what would you suggest?"
Uh oh. Challenge time.
Me: "How about ******** instead of this." Fingers crossed

Status of my suggestion: Accepted
My Status : Ecstatic

Friday, 25 April 2008

HoW to MaKE a HeLLisH ThInG NoT So HeLLiSH (LIST III )

Things to do during an internship:
  • update your blog.
  • if you don't have any work (or do for that matter) , unnerve your boss by staring continuously at him or her.
  • find two alternative uses for your mouse
  • exaggerrate eavesdropping on your boss's conversation with someone else. When they finally look at you say something completely unrelated.

Boss: "Yea, i don't know how to get this website up."

Dude: "You can totally call his guy. He'll help you out! The link is..."

*they notice you eavedropping*

You: "I don't have an appendix"

  • Repeatedly open and shut a door till it falls off and then say with disdain : "Flimsy piece'a'shite. MY door held up under torture"
  • whack your forehead every now and then. After a while, say "shut up in there", while hitting your forehead repeatedly.
  • Use the office phone to call a number and keep slamming it down as though frustrated. Upon inquiry say, "I keep trying the office but some bastard's keeping the phone engaged"

Tuesday, 22 April 2008

The Truly Hellish Thing (Title copywright: MM)

First read this. Munch's explanation of the hellish thing we had to do over the last summer.

Sigh. If only i could go back in time. Where would i go you ask? Well, I'd go back to the moment that i was born and then i would take a knife and become "crazy-lady-who-stabs-newborn-infant". yes, i would kill myself. And this is why.
Today was the second day of the hellish thing we have to do this summer and let me tell you I'd be happier in a vat of cockroaches and that creepy boy in ninth standard whom (who?) noone liked.
i was in an ad agency. I'm not gonna name it because, well, i wouldn't want those people to lose business over a post on my blog that has a million viewers. now that that little fantasy is over, the name's Xebec.
*takes deep breath* Because i need this to continue and to not go into paraxosyms(? haha!) of an absolute mental nature! Today's only saving grace was that it was actually a tad, a smidgeon really, no a speck. Wait....a DUSTMITE) better than yesterday. Chronologically ordered account follows. I suggest you take deep breath as well and attain comfortable position for a VERY long rant.

Yesterday: I call the 'man' at nine thirty asking him what time "would be best to come into the office". He says very politely, "any time". I should've gotten a hint from that vague answer but i'm a little thick when it comes to things like this. In retrospect, I'm amazingly insightful. But in the moment i'm thick.
So i saunter into the office at around ten thirty and am greeted by a clueless receptionist who looks absolutely thrilled when the phone rings mid-conversation with me. So it went:

"Yes, hello! I'm here for an internship"
(and i quote) "EH?"
I was very eloquent at this point. "Internship? I'm here for that."
"ah" he pretends to understand but then there's an awkward pause where i am staring at him and he at me and we both come to realizations at the same time:
I realize that he, in fact, hasn't understood and he realizes that I know he doesn't have a clue.
*phone rings*
Man looks utterly relieved and picks up. I'm just standing there, counting to five while he sticks up one supercilious finger in my face.
Finally, after much ado, I am met by the general manager, the very sweet and vague man whom i had spoken to on the phone and he tells me he doesn't have time to brief me since he is very very busy with a project. i reheally didn't mind considering that if he was VERY VERY busy, then his second-in-command was VERY busy and that meant that the bottom feeders in the office were just plain busy. Then at least some of that 'busy' should pass down to me right? I was good to go! Raring to learn, you might say. (Yes, me)
He introduced me to a woman who took me to her desk and gave me a small talking to. Then she gave me a small stapled bunch of leaflets and asked me to come up with ideas.
Task assigned : 11:01
Task completed: 11:35
Outcome: Twiddling of thumbs till 2:oo pm.
I didn't do ANYTHING for the next two and a half hours! Just sat there, wishing the office would explode in a shower of ash and screams. (In most scenarios i was the suicide bomber)
At this point, the woman notices that my thumbs are sore bloody stumps from all the twiddling and says "You live nearby no? You can go home for lunch if want"
Me (mid explosion in imaginary suicide bombing no 74): "Reaaly? Ok! For how long?"
"One hour, one and a half hours" (my god! these people want to get rid of me BAD)
"Ok, I'll be back at three thirty?"
I returned at three forty five to find that the building had been blown up. No, that was just vile imagination.
I got another task in the afternoon that went on for the better part of the next morning as well.
I got to: *drumroll*
look through a HUMONGINORMOUS bundle of Times supplements for real estate ads of some Bangalore townships.
Someone should've just struck me with a lightning bolt.

Today: A dustmite better than yesterday.

On a completely different matter, I am working for another ad agency starting tomorrow.

Friday, 18 April 2008

Pari's B'day

  1. Pari's birthday was a blast. (For everyone else because i was in one of my friskiest moods!) Just Baked was a fun place to be though i may never go there again on account of an embarassing moment that i shall take with me to the grave. No more shall be said of that event but i will say that we had an absolute blast! Things that happened:
    "surprising" birthday girl with a cake.
    missing filming of some important moments (no worries, they were artfully recreated later)
    laughing like idiots at things that weren't funny
    getting dissaproving looks from Osh (she knows why, i know why. nuff said)
    regretting wearing a skirt
    appreciating Pari's expression as she looked adoringly at her new Oasis collection.
    getting a special hug for secret reasons from the birthday girl.
    "The proposal" that was slightly delayed due to afore mentionedexpression. (it lasted around five minutes. one thing that was not and could not be recreated)
    The yum confectionaries that adorned the table for about five seconds before they were demolished.

    One of the funnest times! Apart from the embarassing incident-but with me, thats a given!

Saturday, 23 February 2008


Considering this is my first post in about a year, this should keep you occupied for a while.

GOA : The munches in Goa! It was amazing! Bad weather, tempered with bad tempers, death of bronze chappals(read M munch's blog), parasailing, one tonne travails and violent crows...what else do you need for a perfect vacation? but seriously ya, it was probably the best vacation i've had with my friends EVER!(considering its the only vacation i've spent with friends) No but SERIOUSLY. It was the best!

CAMERA: I bought one! It's beautiful and black and if i could take a picture of it i would. I don't care that the people in the store were mean Tamil boys who didn't know that i had extensive knowledge of their language(all right, i caught a few words and jumped to a conclusion). No matter, me n Osh gave them our trademark icy glares together. If munch was there....wait...actually, it wouldn't have helped anyway; oh her hair!!!

SLEEPOVERS: So many!! Sometimes its strange if i AM alone in my room at night. Either its a gathering of the munches or its Pari come over to watch Brothers and sisters as always. We're very lazy together, pari n me. And the munches are very very entertaining. We had fun with

The Sleepover Stories
videos one time; laughed our pants off-at the vids and other things! "ooooooowwwwnnn, keeping me dooooowwwnnnnn" Ah, fond memories...

Shoes Galore: I have been going crazy over shoes! the amount that i have! My father's incredulous voice as he reads out my purchases is especially amusing. He's so flabbergasted...the cutie. He just doesn't get shopping or women. Talking to Amma helped. She understood! :D My sister displayed pride and i believe i heard the words "I taught her well" at one point. Tis true. She was once the Grandmaster. My father is much displeased that i have taken up from where she left off..I heard him muttering as i put the phone down "She's one of them now.." Yes indeedy! And i thoroughly enjoy it! Nothing like dropping a few grand when you're upset. Soes wonders for your mood....the munches know!

INTERNSHIP: Cream and Fudge: talks ongoing of internships in Scarycity (a repeat Goa, think the munches, but all i can relate it to is the violent crows in Goa) but they are yet tentative. Me hopes we stay here and do internship, coz me is a scared poodle. Left my seat a little wobbly and munches had ta help. Thank god for them!

ok, so it didn't keep yuo occupied for too long. Bully for you! Humph!