I had written a post at twelve at night on June 7. Small problem. I forgot to post it. So here it is!
Its myyy birrthhhdaayy!
And this midnight post is dedicated to.....ahem.....none other than......ME!
*wipes tear from corner of eye* "This means SO much to me! Its such an honour and having this honour is so honourable that it honours the ass out of other honourable things that people have ever honoured me with. Sigh."
Now away with the insanity and to more sane one sided conversation.
Birthdays are just the funnest things! People can't scream at you. They can't yell, gesticulate, make hand gestures, speak rudely or argue with you. They just have to put up with all the...ahem..."attributes" that define you as a person. Now, all my birthdays have pretty much been days of fun, frolic and otherworldly displays of affection (don't ask). So this year, I've decided to out down some things as guidelines for all things birthday related, not necessarily applicable to me. (Hell yea!)
1. The GOLDEN RULE is that however insufferable the person is (my friends will be nodding their heads here) you just GOTTA suck it up and be nice to em! Come hell or high handed five player poker.
2. The next rule is that a kiss and a hug does NOT, i repeat, does NOT, count as a birthday gift in this galxy or the next. If you're gettin someone (me) a card, get a gift to go with it for chrissake.
3. Next, if you have any inkling about how old the person is, even a vague flying clue about which decade they have entered, don't ask how old they are. Unless, that is, if you have a death wish or actually are that dumb.
4. My favourite! MY birthday without cake is like tweety without silvestor, just another talkin bird, full of herself. The cake numbs the talk ya see. (I'm in metaphor hell, so shoot me!)
5 You absolutely HAVE to address me with the prefix, Your Highness, at all times. It would only seem the right thing to do.
6. Read carefully ma darlins, none of the above matters if you reaaalllllyyyy lurrrvvvee me! MWA!
Ciao!
Neutiquam erro. Just directionally challenged.
Followers
I guffawed (and 'eew'ed) at
- "A woman's dress should be like barbed wire- restricted access with an unrestricted view"
- Ed Byrne
- Graham Norton's one liner "Children are a bit like farts, in that people like their own."
How much is that doggie in the window?
- Wickedcookie
- I'm funny, when I'm in the right company. I'm pretty much normal(much to the dismay of myself and a few family members, who i shall not name) My most distinct characteristic is probably my obsession with buying books. *sarcasm* Whoo-pee
Mine mine mine!
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Whats on my mind
McFly. Like all the time. i kid you not.
How else i could spend my time.
whether people in seventeenth century England were ever clean.
how much time it would take before i can see the Sistine Chapel.
whether time travel is possible and when i can have a go at it.
whether Cassanova was as cute as they say he was
whether freelancing is my thing
Labels
Rome
I'm obsessed with this place
Useless Metaphors that i am unashamedly proud of.
- Tears are like flavours from 'Lays' . Unless there are onions involved, they're just no fun.
- Sweat is like an AC. It cools you down like heck but its always like a big ol elephant in the room.
- Stationery is to a writer what antlers are to the Ibex.
Bubble thoughts
Correct me if I’m wrong but I think it is impossible to look pretty whilst scuba diving. Your mouth is wrapped around this big plastic nozzle thing, you can’t take it out unless suicide is on your list and the refractive qualities of water really don’t do you any further good. The nozzle in your mouth, your eyes wide open because of everything that you’re getting to see at that moment. That just makes you look like a fish on land- gasping forair with a gory-ish, surprised look on your face. I mean, seriously, the fish look better than you do at that point in time. In fact, the fish are laughing at you.
Sometimes I am walking down the road or sitting in a room and I happen to hear a part of a conversation between two complete strangers. Now this isn’t all that strange given that it happens to most of us and also that my eavesdropping skills are honed beyond belief. What is strange though is that I completely and utterly relate to what they are saying; like it’s a conversation out of my life. It makes me feel all warm n fuzzy about the human race.
Sometimes I am walking down the road or sitting in a room and I happen to hear a part of a conversation between two complete strangers. Now this isn’t all that strange given that it happens to most of us and also that my eavesdropping skills are honed beyond belief. What is strange though is that I completely and utterly relate to what they are saying; like it’s a conversation out of my life. It makes me feel all warm n fuzzy about the human race.
4 comments:
I'm sticking to number 6.
None of the above really matters.
I did nod along with the birthday cake.
Very rational point.
I think it should be a universal law.
*looks around for support*
It's okay. People just aren't listening right now.
We're making birthday cakes LAWFUL! HAH!
*runs away screaming like a banshee*
your highness,
How old are u?!?
If you're talking to me, a mere child.
If you're talking to Shar here, not much older/younger than you!
har har har!
;-)
I'm as young as you think i think i am and definitely not as old as you think i think i am not. :P
Birthday cakes are lawful according to Column 13 Section C pg 194 of the Big Ass Book of Laws...check it up my queen
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